I began to journal/blog on June 1, 2008. Before that time I maintained a website where I wrote about my photography work. The main reason for writing in a public space was to link with like-minded people and to get feedback on my journey upon the photographic path. I met a number of people through the site and was able to exchange photos and sell a few of my pictures. When it became apparent that the time of film photography was coming to an end I decided to end my time spent with the camera. I continued blogging because it was a convenient way to mark not only time spent with the camera, but also a way to mark the continuous changes in my life. Some of the changes after leaving the photographic path were -
becoming an ultra-marathon runner;
getting divorced after 15 years of marriage;
becoming a world traveler;
leaving Illinois and settling in Eugene, OR for 2 years;
being afflicted with a serious illness, which forced me to leave Eugene and relocate to Las Vegas/Boulder City, NV in the hopes of recovery;
playing poker in Las Vegas as a means of income;
living in the desert for 3 weeks;
returning to Illinois to get medical treatment for the illness;
after recovery getting a job at the Art Institute of Chicago;
quitting my job at AIC to resume world travel;
upon returning from overseas spending a year meditating, reading, and running;
experiencing the outbreak of world plague.
The plague has been ongoing for 18 months with no end in sight. During this time I have had no income and without the continuous miracles which the universe has showered upon me I would have surely perished. An interesting side effect of the plague and the miracles is that my mind has undergone a transformation, a late flowering. At such a late age I was not expecting to have been given the gift of any further illumination. I will try to mark down some of the characteristics of this illumination :
- I was able to live my entire existence in a time of relative peace, which is incredibly fortunate. Of course, in some areas of the earth there were wars and genocides and heinous crimes, but in the USA it was relatively quiet, clean, and blessed with abundance.
- My mind was focused on what was in front of it, which is natural, but what I consistently forgot, or was unaware of, is the immensity of the world and what is contained within it. It was easy for me to assume that my experience, and the things I taught myself, was sufficient to give me a grasp of reality. It was not.
- Reality, and knowledge, may not be infinite, but it is so large it may as well be. No single mind can grasp its entirety. Some minds have access to more knowledge than others. A part of this knowledge is in the realm of good and evil, light and darkness.
- There appears to be a malevolent force which is in control of the world of humans. This force is hidden, and lives in secrecy. Men who have not only succumbed to this force, but embrace it, are rewarded by being given positions of power and authority, and are also given great wealth and prosperity. If any of these men repent of their decision to worship the darkness, they are stripped of their power and wealth and murdered in ignominy.
- The earth therefore is a place controlled by darkness and evil, and for men who are followers of light and truth the earth is a testing ground for their hearts and minds. There is a force of light, and this force is called God. The force of darkness is called Satan. Men of God will not have positions of power and will not have great wealth. The reason Jesus said it is harder for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God is because the rich man only becomes rich through the blessings of Satan, and through worshiping Satan. The rich man becomes rich through his own free will, he willingly hands his soul to Satan and openly accepts all consequences of this decision.
- There is a vault of secret knowledge which Satan gives to his followers and this secret knowledge is what gives them power over those who are not aware of it. For a human who is inclined to follow God rather than Satan, it is not necessary to possess this knowledge because God guides the faithful to the end goal of salvation through grace.
- Satan creates war and violence so that the terror which fills the human heart will force the faithful to lose hope and abandon God.
And so the endless cycles of war and violence will exist as long as the earth does, it is the crucible in which a human heart is tested. A new war began in 2020 and it is being waged by Satan and his worshipers. The secret knowledge is the main instrument of this war. Instead of guns and bombs, deception in the highest degree is being used to enslave and destroy humanity. It was foretold in the Bible and the events are coming to pass.
This illumination of my mind has resulted in not the possession of secret knowledge, which I have no access to, but in the awareness that I am being deceived. God has given me the grace to be able to see two paths, the one which is wide open and easy to traverse, leading to a comfortable existence in the world by being able to buy and sell, and the path which is narrow and difficult, leading to exclusion and mockery, homelessness and death. The time of trials has arrived, and with it the time to choose which path to walk upon. One path requires the death of the soul, the other the death of the body. To save the soul will require the greatest faith and endurance.
I willingly choose the narrow path, the path of light. God, please give me your grace one final time, increase my faith so that I may not perish in Satan's unholy grip. Amen.