Today was the 26th consecutive day of meditation. I have reached a point where my mind expects it, it has become a habit - the first hurdle has been jumped. Minimum meditation session is one incense stick, ~ 30 minutes. When I meditated in my 20's, 1 hour was the average time. I had a fortunate run back then, my mind was so supple and strong that after sitting for 15-20 minutes I would reach a deep pool of serenity. Older now, I find it difficult to even grab a glimpse of that wonderful state of mind. I will not get discouraged, I will continue to meditate daily and see where it takes me.

Today I walked to the library. I sat in the large reading room and made a drawing for a card based on a portrait/landscape by the artist Balthus. I wrote a small note to a friend next to the drawing, sealed it in an envelope, and sent it away. I now realize I should make a photo of any drawing I create so that I can remind myself of the creative spirit which glows inside my heart.

To change the structure of my mind. The need to alter its habits, ways of thinking, imaging, constructing.

Meditating daily for the past 18 days. Can sense the brain shifting into a new orbit.

Walking to the library this afternoon I saw life as something new - no start, no end, each breath perhaps the last for the body, but the ground-base of mind continues to shine. To remain aware and positive, to  bathe the mind in love and kindness. Surrounded by a world of  negativity and anger, is this possible, and if so, how long will it take? Is this world of people and objects simply another construction of mind - negativity of mannerisms, words, actions, just another trick of mind to keep the ego alive? Is the death of ego the birth of freedom?

Walking to the library, I reminded myself of meditation practice - bring the mind home, relax, and release. Then... a flow of life with no beginning or end, death is when the luminous mind leaves the body. Do I really want this body, and if so, what for? What does this body do? Losing it, why so difficult? Illusion, dream, this body is flimsy and unreal, soon to vanish. But the mind is brilliant light - how do I set it free, while still bound to the body? Love, kindness, positive energy, in all moments. How to achieve this? To form a habit? To practice every day, every hour, every breath.