I have been reluctant to write. It is not due to lack of material as the daily pilgrim walk challenges both body and mind. I decided to sit down tonight to mark the passing of time.
*Last year I discovered that William Basinski's Disintegration Loops 3 is a sequencing of Om Mani Padme Hum and when listening to it while walking the path it creates a pleasant mind space in which to chant.
*The main portion of the pilgrim path cascades through the wilds of downtown and then veers southwest. Passing through Greek Town I pass numerous owls of wisdom and protection, they cast light upon the path for me to see.
One mile before the terminus is the pilgrim walk home-base, St Francis of Assisi Church. I keep my inner eye fixed on the home-base icons, the protectors and guides of the path, and when I reach the church I stand before them and offer the day's walk to them.
*I am surprised at the difficulty of the daily pilgrim walk. Surprised because for many years walking was a relief and a pleasure, a way to immerse myself into the action of the moment, but the moments spent on the path I find to be dangerous and risky. I am consistently battling external and internal demons. One moment a passing demon screams loudly and gazes into my eyes as we pass and I return the gaze as I calmly walk the way. A mile passes and a handsome foreigner stands beside me at a street corner waiting for the light to change and we pierce each others eyes in good humor and he says as his hand sweeps the cityscape, "It's all so beautiful, life is beautiful, life is great!"
Up and down my emotions go and then I recall a passage from a meditation book, something about the emotions being passing waves of energy which leave as quickly as they arrive. I become aware of this powerful emotional energy and I watch as it rises and falls, trying to decipher why a so-called negative energy is indeed negative. I lay in bed at night and purposely recall the most shameful moment's of my life, of which there is plenty to choose from. I seek out the most searing and painful ones and then watch as the echo of the original emotion reverberates into the present moment. I watch it and wait, training my consciousness to not react to the intensely dark energy flowing around and through my heart spirit. If I could somehow blend positive and negative into a harmonious whole perhaps I may then catch a glimpse of the secret of the golden flower.
*The talisman I place in my left hand and the ring of rainbow light I place on my right wrist. The clear jewel rests in the palm, secured in place by my winter glove. The peculiar golden band which wraps snugly around my wrist is unusually bright and clean in the winter sunlight and reminds me of true gold. I like to imagine I am putting on the armor of God before heading out onto the path...
The Armor of God
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people."
