During the five weeks spent in Urbana house painting I had the opportunity to have conversations with Rachel and her friends. During one of these discussions I mentioned that luck is one of the things that helps me get by in life and thus doing activities which require good luck would not be a bad thing for me to do, and so a few days ago I decided to visit a local poker room to give Francis a feel for the game which James had profited from. I aborted the first attempt to get to the casino when, approaching the Blue Line station, I decided to abruptly turn around and not follow the inner impulse urging me on to the poker room. There was a question lurking in my mind and the expectation that I could easily gift someone $200-500 in a single poker hand. Wouldn't it be better to walk the streets and give money to people who ask for it? In my attempt to return home I had the sensation that my decision to not follow the urging of the heart was creating a rift in the usual order of things and because of this I was now experiencing a series of encounters with people who appeared disturbed by my passing presence. I stopped at a 7-11 to break a $20 bill into singles and when I approached the counter with a bag of peanuts the clerk radiated negative energy throughout the brief exchange. When I arrived home I took off my ball cap and noticed its bright red color and the idea occurred to me that the negative encounters I had experienced earlier were perhaps in part caused by the red cap due to the political season!
The next day there was no denying the heart a second time and I decided that gifting someone $200 in a poker hand was partially equivalent to giving $200 in $5 bills to people on the streets. I made it to the Blue Line and rode it to Rosemont and then took the casino shuttle and soon after arrived at the poker room. I was wearing my White Sox cap, the one which materialized for me two springs ago and which made me think of my grandfather who listened to White Sox games on his pocket transistor radio. I had worn the hat each day during the house painting and it was now splattered with dots of white and blue paint, so dirty that it somehow appeared clean.
I approached the poker room counter and put my name on the player's list. I sat down to wait at an empty poker table and a waitress approached and as she passed she blessed me with a radiant smile. I was soon after called to a new table and discovered that Francis' approach to the game was different than James'. There can be no denying that during the past two years Francis has slowly grown into what he is meant to become, his personality mixing with James' experiences to propel him onto a synthesized spiritual path. Prayer - May the Great Protector bless those whom gifted him poker chips and to bless those x 100 whom Francis gifted poker chips to - end prayer.
Perhaps it was partly due to the prayer that I felt at ease and joyful, the greed for winning of lower intensity than James' usual standard. I was losing quickly, playing hands more openly and freely than James' usual nitty style. It didn't matter whether I won or lost and when I lost my last $75 (from a $200 starting stack) when my pocket Jacks lost on the river to AK, I walked to an ATM and pulled out another $200. When I returned to the table I began to sense that Francis must have a different energy signature than James. Multiple people at the table commented on my habit of smiling. "Are you always this happy?" and "how can you be so confident?", and "you lose a big pot and you give us a smile." I tried my best to answer in a relaxed style despite having attracted unwanted attention from the table. Francis could understand Jame's love of the game and realized just how lucky James was, as this luck can be sensed coming in waves and soon I had won a few big pots and when leaving the game recovered some of the $200 initially lost and walked home with a small loss.
I returned to the poker room soon after for another session. Not long after sitting down, not having said a word, a man sitting across from me said in a loud, pleasant voice, "sir, you are the happiest person I have seen in my life. Are you always this happy?" Due to the loudness of his voice the entire table turned to me and I took a few seconds to process such an unusual question. "No, I am not" and even though my answer was not meant as a joke there was laughter at the table. After a few orbits of cards I discovered I was playing a wide variety of hands, not too concerned whether I won or lost. The man who had spoken earlier then spoke again to me, once again in a loud voice, "Do you know who you look like?" "Who?" "Ram Dass!" I once again had to pause, I was aware of Ram Dass as a spiritual leader in the west, but knew I did not look anything like Ram Dass. "I'll take that as a compliment." "It is!" Another person at the table asked "Who is Ram Dass?" "What is your name?" "Francis." "I'm Cory. Francis, I like your energy!" I told Cory I liked his energy and then the game became a blur of the pleasures and terrors of winning and losing. I went all in with 8 9 spades when I called a $250 4-bet pre-flop, this is something James would not have done, being a 75-80% dog is losing poker but I was looking to get out of the room and move on to other things. It was my lucky day, however, when 8 9 flopped a straight and cracked pocket kings for a $500 pot, going home not long after. I played one more session (losing $200) and decided three sessions was enough to satisfy Francis' curiosity about the game.
Being back in the city I resumed visiting my friend who lives near UIC. On my morning walks to her apartment I would make sure to bring $20 cash with me with the intention of giving it to people who were in need of money. If someone was on the corner asking for money, I happily gave. It occurred to me that there could be other ways to give the daily $20, so I kept my mind and eyes open waiting to see what would happen. I knew I was doing something that went against the culture so I tried to keep my intentions hidden as best I could. The days passed and the goal of giving money to random people was making me joyful. The smiles I was being blessed with upon giving was very positive for my mind and heart. What a way to live, living to give, and finally having something material to give! Lurking in the corner of my heart was a shadowy premonition that I may be required to give money in a way I could not foresee. This is how it materialized :
Francis' Trial
After a week of giving I decided that I could not continue for much longer due to not having an unlimited money supply, and when I walked out in the early evening of Saturday, November 2, I was down to my final $9 of giving money. I placed the $9 in my front right pants pocket, ready to give in whatever way presented itself. I decided to walk to a local cannabis dispensary and purchase two 1/8ths of flower, so I had my backpack with me. I needed to carry extra cash for the purchase so I placed my wallet, cash, ID, and debit card in the backpack. The evening was pleasantly mild, perfect for walking, and after completing the purchase I stopped at a small pedestrian parkway off Michigan Ave and sat on a bench to rest. I placed my backpack next to me on the bench. Inside the backpack was two 1/8ths of flower and my wallet which contained $25 cash, ID, and debit card. Having these things on my person in normal circumstances I would not stop to rest due to safety concerns of being robbed. But this was not a normal day because I was looking for a way to give $9 to someone who needed it. As I sat on the bench I had the sensation I was waiting for someone to cross paths with me and at the same time a clean and calm sensation was radiating within. This radiating peace was strong and getting stronger with each passing minute. The inside of my body began to feel hollow, like a piece of bamboo, and in this silent empty space within my spirit began to mingle with something beautiful and powerful, and then it happened.....
A Demon appears
A demon crossed my path and approached. It stopped to look at me and then spoke. "Do you keep your wallet in your backpack?" He pointed at the backpack next to me on the bench. The demon was young and not beating about the bush. The hollowness in my body remained steady as did my relaxation of body and mind, which I found to be not only surprising, but also encouraging. I began to radiate a smile of calm joy as I pondered his leveling war of words. His question, on the surface appearing stupid, was perhaps a sophisticated attempt to gain information as to what was inside my backpack. If I became tense, grabbing at the bag, he would know it would be worth his while to steal it. Not moving my body in the slightest, I smilingly replied "nahhh, if I have cash on me I keep it in my pocket." He looked at me, then the bag, which lay at my side. He was standing within a few feet of me and the bag and I sensed that he wanted to simply pick it up and run off with it. I was ready to accept this possibility, indeed, I was reading his thoughts and I told him with my thoughts to go ahead and take it, I wasn't going to fight for it. However, the calm smiling passivity I was displaying was something which was appearing to freeze his will, confusing him. He stood still at my side, unable to decide what to do. During these intense moments of waiting my body and mind remained in an ultra calm state of relaxation. It was more powerful than usual and I knew then that my faith was about to go on trial. I sensed at that moment I had more protection than normal, that all of my protectors were on call and standing there with me, The Great Protector, The Wish Fulfilling Jewel Tree, The Seven Warrior Sages (Seven Crows), The Rainbow Light, all assisting my body and mind. I experienced at that moment some of the major seeds of my karma coming into material existence, the need for it to be burned, paid for, accumulated, etc., the bad and the good. The next few minutes was going to be a major test of my faith, karma, and morals.
More Demons Appear
As the demon stood next to me undecided on what to do, his companions arrived at his side. I counted seven total, so I was definitely going to need The Seven Crows help. Due to what was inside my backpack (two 1/8's unopened cannabis, wallet, cash, debit card and ID), there was a slight nagging in my mind that my life for the next week was going to be a pain in the ass due to the need to replace the debit card and ID, buy a new wallet, loss of $25 cash and all that weed. I was surrounded by seven demons who looked hungry and in need of action and I was their target. The predators had cornered its prey. What was I now but an old lame gazelle about to be torn apart by lions? I was somewhat surprised that my meditative state of calm was still strong, not a ripple spread on the still waters of my mind. I smiled at the Demons. One demon struck my eye as particularly powerful, a face which appeared cruel and confident, but I knew better not to judge on looks alone.
It occurred to me this scene was what I had been waiting for, even though I was about to be robbed, I could freely give them the $9 in my pocket, it was the perfect finale to the days of giving. How uninspired to give $9 to a person on a street corner asking kindly for it, NO, I had to give it away while it was being taken from me! Happy to have discovered such a unique way to get rid of the $9, I smilingly said to the seven demons "I know what you want." The cruel one spoke "What do we want?" "Money!" "Yes!!! We want money!" At that moment the trial reached its height of energy and power, all seven demons converged on my relaxed sitting body, jumping up and down, screaming at me. "Relax. How much do you want?" Here the cruel one surprised me when he answered "$15!" Still smiling, "I don't have that much but you can have whatever is in my pocket." The demons became more frenzied and as I began to reach into my pocket to retrieve the cash I recalled that I placed extra cash in the pocket when the cashier at the cannabis store handed change to me. The demons were indeed going to be getting $15. I was certain I was going to be beaten, there were seven demons standing and jumping next to me, swinging their arms and hands, and as my hand came out of my pocket grasping the cash the cruel demon swiped at it and roughly took all of it for himself. I heard a voice from behind me say in a firm, commanding voice, "NO." I was not aware of anyone standing behind me and there should not have been because in back of the bench was an elevated grassy knoll.
The demons were still swinging their arms at me within inches of my body, and yet, no contact was made other than the cruel demon swiping the cash from my hand. After hearing "NO" the demons began to back off. It occurred to me that the gang rush was a ploy to get me to lose attention of my backpack. Now that the demons had backed away from me and I was not physically hurt, I turned to the place where I now expected to see a missing backpack, and yet, it was still there, resting on the bench unprotected. The demons appeared happy with the $15 they were going to split amongst themselves. Instead of dispersing and going on their way they decided to stay next to me. Some sat down on nearby benches, others stood idly, wondering what to do.
The first demon who had approached me still stood next to my backpack, his eyes riveted to it. He was still apparently frozen, he really wanted my bag but something was stopping his will. My mind and body were still in a state of deep calm and I was pleased to have the help of my Protectors, but the demons apparently were not finished with me just yet. Some began to speak to me and I spoke to them. One told me he sold weed. I showed him my pipe and he asked me if I wanted any weed. I told him I had my own and then offered him the pipe and a lighter. He took it and gave it to another demon. I was not expecting to see the pipe again but a few minutes later another demon approached and handed me the pipe, sans lighter, and fist bumped me in a sign of respect. "Thank you, you didn't have to return the pipe, I appreciate it. That shows character. And you can keep the lighter."
I turned to my left and the first demon had his hand on my backpack, he was finally breaking through the force that was preventing him from taking it. I faced him and said with a smile "don't steal, it's not cool." He smiled sheepishly and took his hand away from the bag.
Soon after the demons began to disappear, and then I was left alone. I thought of the scene from the film Quick Change, the thief who robs Bill Murray says "All you have is $20?" as Bill Murray stands next to him with a million dollars taped under his clothing. When the thief leaves Bill Murray says "Excuse me, you forgot your million dollars!" I continued to sit and relax, not having moved during the intense interaction with the seven demons. I looked beside me at my backpack, still not comprehending how the demons could have left me physically unharmed and not take the backpack with the cash and weed in it. It appears one of the major trials of Francis' life cost only $15 and a lighter.