In 2012 the geo-engineering program was in its infancy, and the skies that year in Chiang Mai were sunny and blue, with 1 rain storm in 3 months (Feb-April). In 2019, being the first year of the full geo-engineering program, the skies have been filled with toxic muck most of the 48 days I have been here. It is the just the way it is now, the sky is dead, the earth is dead, and human hell-beings will soon be following. For someone such as myself whose basis of happiness was the beauty of the earth, the willful destruction of that beauty is a hard pill to swallow. Happiness is an afterthought now, my whole focus is on the upcoming death of my body and the earth and everything upon it.
Someone reading the above who is ignorant of their surroundings (the majority of people) will think the writer is a full raving lunatic, and I would have agreed had I read the same 20 years ago. But this is 2019, and all one has to do is not only observe, but the world's best climate scientists have confirmed that the earth is dead and extinction of most everything will be happening within 1 decade. If you have kids under the age of 10, how does that make you feel? If you don't have kids, how do you feel? One either has to completely turn it off and die in terror and darkness, or one can work it out with the remaining time and come to an acceptance and prepare for the fascinating death journey.
And this whole earth-death scenario is so nightmarish that I sometimes think that my life may have been something which only happened inside my own consciousness, because how can it be that as my own personal death approaches, the earth's death will be happening at the same time? It seems utterly impossible and so the illusion of my life may be a sick fantastic joke upon my mind and ego.
